Where you place attention is where your energy goes.
But where do you end up parking?

As the year drew to a close, I was reminiscing about things I have done and not done.
This also resumed my seasonal project of noticing where my thoughts and feelings go.
Where they go, is where my attention goes. Hence where my energy goes.

Then the follow up question was that energy well spent?
This makes for an interesting exercise, If you consider the notion that our thoughts and feelings create our reality.
As I was noticing I realized I was exhibiting a classic behavior.
I was placing value on my experience.
A “positive” value on one and a “negative” value on another.
What you may call……judgment.
Generally speaking there is a tendency to get bogged down with one kind of judgment. Negative judgment.
“how could he be so stupid” ?
“what’s wrong with me?”,
“people are mean” and so on.
Then there is “positive judgement”. Another form of judgement.
Some think if I’m positive all the time then everything will be fine.
But the problem is when you label something as positive you also create something called the negative because you have chosen a framework of thinking that polarizes what you are focussing on into one or its opposite value.
Consider the notion of judgment as a….charge.
Judgment, is applying positive charge or negative charge to an event, experience or person.
First labeling, then placing value.
Good OR bad.
Right OR wrong.
Nice OR mean.
Happy OR Sad.
What we think of as the way it is is actually a choice we make. Moment to moment.
Choice of a framework. A framework which polarizes thoughts into opposing values.
Good OR Bad. Light OR Dark.
What does this cause?
Fragmentation.
Separation.
This maybe what some call Duality.
Bridging separation

Is there another framework one could experiment with? Something that is not so divisive in nature?
How about….
Right AND Wrong?
Good AND Bad?
Light AND Dark?
In it’s mechanics, this approach has a heterogeneous inclusiveness.
Wholeness.
Integration.
Reunion.
Maybe the phrase transcending duality does not lend itself well to understanding of it’s practice?
Maybe it’s easier to accept and hence practice duality by accepting opposing values.
Simply by abdicating the need to play the game of choosing from polar opposites.

But what stops us from including “bad” AND “dark” AND “wrong” in our reality?
Could it be a judgement or the need to place polarizing values?
Say you find yourself in a charged situation.
Maybe triggered by something inside or outside of you….a deadline you forgot, rush hour traffic, a coworker or a partner.
what do you do?
The action we take, by thoughts, words and doing……by either shunning (ignoring it) or indulging, are both, a force.

A Force, that adds to the impetus of an already charged situation.
None of which allows discharge. Release.
Release is healing.
Triggers are your Teacher

Triggers are your teacher. They show where you have work to do. A belief or pattern (yours or someone else’s) You perhaps give your power away to.

In the psychic school vernacular we use the phrase “Sally got Lit Up”.
Mechanically speaking, an Unconscious pattern/belief in you has now become Conscious or has been “lit up” to be noticed. With or without lot of emotional charge to it.

It’s easier to work with something we are Conscious off than what we are oblivious/Unconscious to.
When you get triggered
Ok, so you just got triggered.
When you do your thoughts can be like a raging tornado.
What if you suspended your irresistible urge to label? that need to place polarizing value?
What if you leaned back and just engaged in noticing? Without ‘doing’ anything?

Not doing anything, with your thoughts especially.
Then delay the need to label or make qualitative statement inside your head – “right” “wrong”, “anger” “sad”, “happy”, “pain”, “love” etc.

What if you make a different choice?
Even momentarily.

What happens if you just breathe, “engaged” in noticing?
Often it’s our breathing pattern that gives away the state of our mind.
What if you just notice like a neutral observer not offering any polarizing value?
Since “do nothing” maybe unrealistic when you are freshly triggered, what if happens when you switch focus to your body?
Is some part of your body tense? Does this tension have a shape? regular or irregular?
Maybe it’s your upper back. Back of your neck. Solar plexus. Knees. Chest.
Where?
Is it close to the skin? Or few inches deep?
What if you can avoid naming it “anger”, “pain”, “irritation” or “joy” ?
Does some part of your body feel closed? Indifferent? Open?
Is there a speeding up somewhere? Is you breathing shallow or normal?
What if you allow the breath to free fall from head to toe?

What happens?

Does what you are triggered by, well up? Or run out of steam?
Did it help to have no outside interference (you placing judgement) ?
What do you notice?

All judgements are self-judgements

Life is a mirror.
Often when we are judging someone we actually judging ourselves.
It very well maybe that we are actually judging part of us that they are reflecting back to us.
Essentially there is only one kind of judgement. Self-Judgement.

All relationships we engage in, short term and long term, reflects some aspect of ourselves. A mirror is useful because it’s often hard to see what’s right under our nose.
Sometimes the mirror reflects what we do and are not aware of.
Sometimes its what we don’t allow ourselves to do.
The mirror is not always straightforward. But it’s there.
In the end all roads leading to judgement of others actually circles back to end with us.
So how can we use this our judgements as a tool to learn about the Unconscious parts of ourselves?
That unconscious part of us which normally seems to lay submerged
beneath the surface of our consciousness parts